Many parents feel that if they nag their child, he will work harder and do better. In fact, this usually backfires. The more a child is nagged, the less motivated he will become. The less motivated he becomes, the more worried the parent feels and the more the parent nags. The combination of the nagging parent and the de-motivated child leads to dropping grades. And so starts the downward spiral.

Parents who really want to help their children to reach their full potential should take a positive approach to parenting. Exams are stressful times for children and they need your support during these times.

The first rule for creating a successful child is never compare. Try to avoid situations where other parents make you feel intimidated. Forget about what your child’s siblings can do, what your best friend’s child can do or what his cousins can do. Your child is unique. It is important that children are not limited by what other people think they can or cannot do.

• Don’t push your child. Guiding and supporting are not the same as pushing, bullying or threatening. Do be there to guide and support, but do so positively. Your child will work hardest when you are encouraging and patient with him.
• Study Schedules - involve your child in making his own study schedule rather than imposing it on him, as then he will be more likely to stick to it. Sit down together and work out times for study, play and relaxation. Let your child have a say in his study schedule. Studying for unreasonably long periods of time without a break does not mean your child will learn more. Periods of study should be interspersed with frequent breaks as this aids concentration. Remember, the average concentration span is twenty minutes.
• Allow your child to be him self. Resist the urge to impose your own ambitions on him. Encourage him to have a breadth of interests, both academic and recreational. Also encourage your child to read for pleasure. Many children say they don’t have time to read yet reading is one of the best ways to improve language skills in an enjoyable, relaxing way.

• Be available to support your child when he is studying but don’t hover over him with all the answers. Encourage your child to work things through for himself, even if this means taking a lot longer than telling him the answer and getting through more exercises.
• See a child’s mistakes as positive. Making mistakes provides children with a wonderful opportunity to learn something new. If we don’t make errors, we will never learn. Make mistakes work for you. Use them as a clue to knowing which areas your child needs help with. Also make sure you interpret errors correctly. Was an error made through lack of knowledge or through carelessness?
• Give recognition for effort. Believe in your child and give him plenty of encouragement and praise, even if he doesn't do as well as you might have hoped. In addition, have realistic expectations. If your child usually scores around 60% for his second language, don’t expect him to get 90%. Aim for one grade higher, something that he can achieve. If he is doomed to fail from the outset because he has impossibly high goals, he might stop trying.
• Make sure your child knows you will love him no matter how well or badly he does in his exams. Love should never be conditional.
• If your child doesn’t do well in his exams, don’t scold him and don’t punish him. This will make him feel even more of a failure and will affect his confidence next time round. Praise him for the things he did well. Help him to look at ways he can improve next time round. Make sure he knows he has your support.
• See the teacher. If you are worried about your child’s exam results, make an appointment to speak with his class teacher. Take your child along to the meeting and include him in three-way conferencing so that he is involved in the discussion and the decisions about his learning.
• Help your child to set his own goals. These should be realistic and should take into account your child’s age and natural subject ability level.
• Try to understand and respect your child’s feelings. Put yourself in your child’s shoes. Talk to your child about how he feels.

Mrs. Lorna Whiston, Director
Lorna Whiston Study Centres (Malaysia and Singapore)
Experienced educator Lorna Whiston has been teaching English successfully for more than 30 years. Originally from the United Kingdom, she has served as teacher and principal in premiere schools across Malaysia and Singapore. In 1980, she founded Lorna Whiston Study Centres. She is now Director of the Taman Tun Dr. Ismail centre as well as five centres, a bi-lingual pre-school plus a Speech and Drama Centre in Singapore.

At Lorna Whiston Study Centres, students aged from 1 to 16 years achieve fluency in English through enjoyable and effective classes. They benefit from the unique interactive teaching methodology, the guidance of highly experienced and qualified, caring, native English speaking graduate teachers as well as comprehensive educational resources. Lorna Whiston also conducts excellent seminars and workshops on developing children’s English language skills. www.lornawhiston.com.my